Be okay

I've found myself struggling with accepting my current work situation. More accurately: I find myself challenged to be patient on God's timing. But I have to remember how I got here; to this very moment; this very opportunity.
            When I got out of the military, I had no idea what I was going to do for money. I couldn't find a job anywhere in Charleston--more accurately, I was looking in the wrong places. However, I still couldn't find employment no matter how many resumes I printed.
            At the time, I was fortunate enough to be living in a rent free house. So, I took the opportunity to start the pursuit of completing my education again. (I finished about 50 hours of it while in the military.) I did that for about a year while somehow living on around $1,200 a month coming from a VA stipend that I received for going back to school. It goes without saying that that was not enough to sustain us.
            While in church one Sunday, the pastor was talking about outreach to the community. He then talked about "in-reach"; helping out the people in the church.
            "For instance," he said, "how many of you right here in this church need a job?"
            I’m pretty sure I raised my hand before everyone else. I was desperate for change and felt aimless in school—that's not true. It was a long time ago so, honestly, I think the driving force was the source of income we needed. Anyway--that's when everything in my life changed; my path began to move in a completely different direction.
            For those of you who follow my blog, you already know that I don't work for that guy anymore. Now I have a different manager and a different area of responsibility.
            So, my thesis is that God has clearly brought me to this situation for a reason. ("Now" is over a year after that day in church [15 and a half months for the curious reader]). If not for all the variations in my career, I wouldn't have met my soon-to-be business teammate. Has this been God's circuitous way of giving me exactly what I've always wanted? (I just want more time with my family; a lot more.)
            God had already laid out His path and plan for me. Now, I just have to accept His timing and be patient...but that is so difficult.
            I want my life to change. I want it to change drastically in the long run but for the immediate future, I'd just rather stop working 10-hour shifts and every other weekend. If only there was obvious answers...but I guess then we'd all be ants; mindlessly serving a higher purpose with no individuality.
            My old manager saw me raise my hand and his nephew (oddly enough) was a friend of mine. He introduced me to his uncle and that helped me get the job. 

1 Peter 4:12-16 says,

"12 Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. 14 If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory[a] and of God rests upon you. 15 But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler. 16 Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name.”
English Standard Version Anglicised (ESVUK)

These verses were for me today. And today’s Daily Bread (For His Glory | Our Daily Bread: http://odb.org/2012/09/25/for-his-glory/). Maybe I have to deal with this for another year--*shudder* but either way, I would still be shouting God’s praises. I may not be losing actual time with my family because the overtime I’m working is in the morning but I’m losing time mentally; I’m always exhausted when I get home and we usually go to bed sooner than we used to—so, I guess I am still losing time with my girls. And, like I said, they have me working every other weekend and that really stinks.
            I have to learn to just be okay with where God has me right now. If I can master that than I’m probably years ahead of myself in wisdom…if I can master that. 

Pretty good party

     My birthday last night was a lot of fun. I went rock climbing at Half-Moon Outfitters in the afternoon. A little later I went Adonlinni's Pizza and ate too much Italian pie. For presents, I got some spices (an espresso steak rub [that should be yummy], marshmallow cocoa, grill seasoning, and some frogmore stew seasoning), an e-reader, some old-style 35mm black and white 400 film (which I'm stoked about since I haven't snapped some pictures since England [2007ish]), and a Barnes & Nobles gift card coupled with an complete list of all the Star Wars novels in chronological order. I know you misunderstanding people might think, "A list?" But for nerdy people like me, this was the coolest present. Don't get me wrong I loved ALL my presents but I love lists, especially when they're about Star Wars; kinda weird that way. Not to mention, now I have no excuse to read the Star Wars novels.

     Without question, it was a pretty awesome day.

I'm 28 today!

       The title says it all. Today is my birthday. I'm hoping this is the year that I gain my super-powers because I come from some alien world where 28 is the year that a person comes of age...been waiting for that for 24 years.

What compels you?

I feel compelled to maintain truth. At work, I was talking to a guy about a work package in another area. He said they don't use that work package. I said, "Well, actually, they do."
Why do I feel compelled to be right? I think it's pride--sinful pride. It shouldn't hurt me just to let someone stick their own foot in their mouth; it's not my job to correct them.
Lesson learned.

Still hungry

     I ate a bagel with cream cheese and drank my coffee around 0330 this morning. Here I am 3 and a half hours later...so hungry. (I'm trying to get out of the habit of saying, "I'm starving." I feel guilty when I say it because I realized that I have no idea the true making of starving to death. I'm not trying to be some super bigoted liberal hipster who opposes those who you use the word; just to be clear. I just elect not to.) I brought Cambell's tomato juice (which pales in comparison to V8 tomato juice, by the way) for my snack...this is going to be a long day--I can't think straight! I'm so hungry!!! But God would rather me exercise self-control...unless He supports Cheetos...*drool*

0830: tomato juice snacked upon. Not very satisfying.

1030: A sub sandwich (why don't we say, "submarine sandwich"; that just sounds cooler).

     Well, I didn't buy anything today...but someone bought me a Snickers ice cream bar--FAIL!!!

Man, I'm hungry.

                So, yesterday, I decided I need a trimming of the fat in my life; proverbially and literally. I snack a lot. I eat because I’m hungry! Yesterday I started my day off with a bowl of Crispix. This isn’t a very filling breakfast and, mind you, I’ve been going to work at 0430 since Thursday of last week. I ate a pop tart at around 0630 or 0730ish; I don't remember. I stayed hungry until 1030 lunch. That was hard, my mind tried to justify getting a snack from the machine several times. I was so hungry! I managed to persevere though and ate my macaroni-something noodles and chicken for lunch. That easily kept me going until 1300 when I consumed another pop tart. I got home at 1530ish, ran a quick errand, showered, and then had a sandwich and cheez-itz. Now the real challenge began. The hunger at work I could ignore and perservere but wanting to snack at home with food only steps away…I like to snack.
                I did well though and only had a few more cheez-itz around 1900. All in all, I think it was a pretty successful day of fasting from indulgence. When I got really hungry, I just said a quick prayer to God but I think fasting is more than that. It’s about “put off—put on mentality.” If you reduce food intake and you find yourself as hungry as I got, meditate on God when you’re hungry. If you stop smoking, drinking, even playing too much video games; all those things need to be replaced with something if you try to trim down on them—not that I’m saying those are things in my life I need to reduce because I don’t smoke, drink too much, and if I’m playing video games too long…well, I have a wife.

Fasting

                I’m thinking about fasting; not everything though, just the excess. I guess most people refer to that as a diet but I eat about every two hours. I’m a hungry boy; and a growing boy…but growing more horizontally than vertically; that ended a long time ago. I don’t want to fast like the people Isaiah wrote to either. My interpretation was that they were fasting for show. I want to fast because I need to eat less. I’m an indulgent person and I love to eat. So, my fasting is not intended to replace consumption, just to trim the proverbial—more applicably: literal—fat. My job doesn’t provide me with a lot of mobility and I don’t like that. I could go to the gym but that’s even more time away from my family and, if you’ve been following my blog, the last thing that I want to do.

Isaiah 58 

¹“Cry aloud; do not hold back;
    lift up your voice like a trumpet;
declare to my people their transgression,
    to the house of Jacob their sins.
² Yet they seek me daily
    and delight to know my ways,
as if they were a nation that did righteousness
    and did not forsake the judgment of their God;
they ask of me righteous judgments;
    they delight to draw near to God.
³ ‘Why have we fasted, and you see it not?
    Why have we humbled ourselves, and you take no knowledge of it?’
Behold, in the day of your fast you seek your own pleasure,
    and oppress all your workers.
⁴ Behold, you fast only to quarrel and to fight
    and to hit with a wicked fist.
Fasting like yours this day
    will not make your voice to be heard on high.
⁵ Is such the fast that I choose,
    a day for a person to humble himself?
Is it to bow down his head like a reed,
    and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him?
Will you call this a fast,
    and a day acceptable to the Lord?

⁶ “Is not this the fast that I choose:
    to loose the bonds of wickedness,
    to undo the straps of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
    and to break every yoke?
⁷ Is it not to share your bread with the hungry
    and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him,
    and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
⁸ Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
    and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you;
    the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
⁹ Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
    you shall cry, and he will say, ‘Here I am.’
If you take away the yoke from your midst,
    the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,
¹⁰ if you pour yourself out for the hungry
    and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
    and your gloom be as the noonday.
¹¹ And the Lord will guide you continually
    and satisfy your desire in scorched places
    and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
    like a spring of water,
    whose waters do not fail.
¹² And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt;
    you shall raise up the foundations of many generations;
you shall be called the repairer of the breach,
    the restorer of streets to dwell in.

English Standard Version (ESV)